late night quandaries

| August 21st, 2007

elusive memory
fading lights on the tree
a dim childhood remembrance
lost years
of togetherness
and tears

an example of what
a father, a husband
a tall order of a shadow

how can i follow this
reinventing ideals
trying to be a man
i have no reference
no path travelled

generations of
ill conceived notions
corrupted means of affection
a man’s best
seems not enough
never enough

when the spiritual journey is put to rest
all answers opened to the inner mind
or perhaps a tiredness of questioning
what passions are left
what desires hold tight
clinging to the unfulfilled fantasies
of youth played out
unraveled like so much string
a toy discarded, forgotten

maybe not forgotten
certainly left to the wolves

the road has ended in this
life of complacency
or the seeking thereof
a shallow hole
or a new beginning
letting go of the questions
dismissing the inner voices
quieting the mind
a thought of zen
but then,
is ego loss the end
a quieting of the longing
a certainty in what has been found
to the degree
that no seeking is self evident

or is it more an oasis
in the desert
of no concrete answers
in a life
lived with all eyes closed
and seeking sight

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