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| August 6th, 2006

reinventing distances
i take with me my poem and song
down to the dark parts of sleep
i cannot find

weighted
world on edge
of hollow shoulders
cannot trust a shadow
lingering

a sight unseen

withdrawn
without hope of
wonder
withered words
woebegone
waiting while
weeping

whisper thoughts of nothing in my ear
my heart content in knowledge of another day
find for me a hiding place within you
to nest these thoughts of hopeful love
pictures of days long past
of happiness in your heart
captured curiosty, attention
a warm place
to rest within you

this day is done and with it me inside i feel a hole, growing a weight on my heart a thought of dying
why
a neverbeginning an unlife questions of grief and withered ideas of happy times shrinking down my neck the energy running into somewhere unknown i ache for you the you inside i
see
but now cannot believe the ideas the language the you that was so deeply engrained in me changing before me into someone who does not know me enough to know me cannot reach into my heart see my bleeding but can truly love me?

god i hope for certainty i long for names and hands and fingers running down my neck where did all this go what has transpired to bring about this change a feeling of distance a chill and tangible air of err

i am sorry
for all things

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